So…what do I own….err….the laptop the story was originally typed on? 0..o…..Yeah…I own that…^w^

Enjoy…

Dib winced, and let out a yelp that was muffled against the ground he’d hit at an awkward angle. Why did he have to be so stupid. He shouldn’t have gone, he shouldn’t have even considered it. Especially not with them. Sure, the drinks had been free…and hell, none of his peers had ever pulled a prank, no, it wasn’t a prank, but none of them had ever done anything like this.

He should have known it was too good to be true when Smacky had invited him to tag along for his group of friends on their weekly bar run.

With a groan, Dib pushed himself off the blacktop, blearily looking around to see where he was. The alcohol he’d consumed caused his head to buzz angrily, and hiss stomach rolled viciously. With a gasp, he leaned over, emptying the contents of his stomach on the sidewalk. He realized he was at the beginning of a cul-de-sac and with a wince realized just what cul-de-sac it was.

Zim’s.

Of course, the assholes couldn’t drop him off on the sidewalk outside his own home after getting him drunk then beating the crap out of him. They thought it’d be hilarious to dump him outside his childhood enemies home. Well, sort of. Seeing as he was a good three blocks away from Zim’s he supposed it could have just been a coincidence. He doubted any of his peers, who hadn’t moved away, even knew where Zim lived.

With another groan, Dib sat down, a few feet away from the vomit, and on the edge of the sidewalk, to decide what he should do. If he tried to walk home, he’d likely get hit, he could barely see straight. Not to mention he’d hear from not only his dad, but Gaz, about his condition. Neither approved of drinking, as he well knew. No going home then, but what was he supposed to do. It’s not like he had any real friends, as was surely proven tonight.

A small voice in the back of his head was quickly silenced. Dib was not going to ask him for help, no matter that he felt like his brains were dripping from his head. The voice slipped out through a gap between reasons why going there was a stupid idea. No…Dib tried to order his thoughts silent.

It was true that they hadn’t really fought since just after High Skool started, and while Dib was still curious…about everything, he found no pleasure in the thought of a dissection anymore. Zim had just become too human in his eyes. Damn…he sighed, once again climbing to his feet. He began to stagger down the road, towards the home of his once hated enemy.

~~~---~~~

Zim’s antennae twitched at the sound of a buzzer, and he blearily opened his eyes. The sound meant someone, or something, was ringing his doorbell. He blinked, and was fully alert in an instant. With a thought, his pak disengaged with the connection to his sleep-unit and he stepped out onto the floor. He walked up to the computer as another buzz sounded, and pulled up the cameras for his yard.

Dib?

Zim’s mind stuttered, and his eyes narrowed instinctively. Though he’d ceased trying to take over this stupid planet after receiving one final message which shattered his illusion of invading, he still considered Dib a minor threat. After all, the human was the only one who knew enough about him to get him captured and torn apart. It didn’t take but another instant for Zim to realize the Dib was in no condition to attack him, especially not so openly.

Dib was covered in welts, lacerations, and the beginning signs of bruises. Someone had thrashed the human quite thoroughly, and Zim couldn’t help but allow an amused grin to grace his face. The grin faded when he realized that that someone was not him, and he glared at the screen.

How dare the Dib-worm go and get himself damaged by anyone but Zim…

With a growl, he darted to the elevator and rose quickly to the top levels of his base. He paused only once, when he realized he was only wearing a pair of boxers and a pink sweat shirt. Despite being human-made, the clothing was comfortable, and he usually wore them when resting. After a brief internal debate, he shrugged off his attire and  pulled the door open, glare fixed on his face. That didn’t last long though, as the security screen hadn’t been able to truly shown how damaged Dib was.

~~~---~~~

Dib tilted and stumbled often on his way to Zim’s base, a constant stream of reasons this was incredibly stupid ran through his mind. In the end though, he found himself at the odd door, grimacing at the picture usually designating a men’s restroom. He glanced nervously at the gnomes, glad but unsure at the fact that they hadn’t opened fire at him He rang the bell, then waited. Nervousness and a bout of dizziness demanded he ring it again, in hopes of hurrying Zim up.

When the door whipped open, he winced at the glare on the aliens face. Zim hadn’t even bothered to put on his full disguise. Dib opened his mouth, only to snap it shut again as a wave of nausea passed over him. The last thing he needed was to vomit all over his would be host. He fell against the door frame, dizzy again.

~~~---~~~

Zim catalogued Dib’s injuries quickly, and decided that none were life threatening and none should attribute to his obvious ill look. His eyes narrowed in caution.

“Are you full of germ-things, Dib-stink?” He growled. “Have you come to infect Zim with your earthy illness?!” Zim’s voice had naturally raised through the questions. He watched Dib wince at the volume.

“I’m not sick, I’m…” Dib began, only to snap his mouth shut once more. Zim’s glare returned. Finally, Dib opened his mouth again. “I’m drunk…and I probably have a concussion…or three.” The last bit was only muttered angrily.

“Aaannnnd…You are on Zim’s doorstep to show off this stupid state?” Zim asked sarcastically. “Stupid human filth. Leave Zim’s base!” Zim was tempted to slam the door shut, but hesitated. In truth, he almost missed the fights with Dib. At least fighting gave him attention, and it was exhilarating besides. Dib had improved much over their years of battle. Zim was curious how he’d been reduced to the state he was in now.

“Ow….no, I…I was hoping I could…maybe…crash here…” He suddenly whipped his frame to the side, out of the doorframe. Zim curled his lips at a the sound of retching coming from beyond his door. “Sorry…” Dib muttered, then attempted to return to his questioning. The second session of vomiting had cleared his head a little, so he was a bit easier to understand now. “Can I stay here tonight. I won’t make it home walking, and I don’t feel like listening to Gaz and dad if they catch me like this.” He almost said it in a rush, and as a result once again leaned against the doorframe to steady himself as another dizzy spell passed by.

Zim narrowed his eyes, shocked but unwilling to show it. Dib had come to his base for refuge! This drunk state must completely scramble the humans’ brains. Zim was tempted to invite the boy in, then lock him up, but hesitated.

“Never mind…I’ll just go lay in the road.” Dib attempted to growl, but it sounded more pathetic than fierce. The fact that he nearly fell on his head as he attempted to stalk off didn’t help. Zim rolled his eyes, and grabbed the boys arm, catching him and pulling him through the door in one move.

“You will stay here. You will not leave this room. You will touch nothing but the couch, and when you regain the use of your brain you will tell Zim exactly what drunk is, and you will tell Zim who hurt you. Only Zim may damage you Dib-beast.” Zim said in a rush, shoving Dib onto the couch and turning. “GIR!”

~~~---~~~

“GIR!” Dib winced at the loud shout, cursing Smacky and the others. In truth, he had no idea why Zim had let him in, and he was a bit worried about his life. Unfortunately, all worry was neatly shoved aside as he settled onto the couch. Being still, and horizontal, caused him to sigh and his eyes to half shut. This was what his body wanted. Rest. Dib’s eyes shot open as Gir came careening into the room, squealing as only the little robot could.

“Gir! Shut up!” The disfunctioning SIR unit saluted with a flash of red eyes, then began to giggle almost incessantly.

“Big headed boy is illy…and on the couch. Hello!” Gir nearly screamed the greeting and Dib winced then glared at him.

“Gir! Listen!” Zim roared, once again drawing a wince from Dib. This time a groan accompanied it. Zim glanced at him, but otherwise ignored the human. “You will guard the Dib-worm tonight. He is to stay exactly where he is. If he gets off the couch, you are to stop him with any force necessary. Understood!?”

Gir blinked several time, then grinned. “Okey dokey, Master!” He exclaimed happily. Zim glared at him, then nodded and turned back to Dib.

“Do you understand human?” He hissed, a wicked smile forming on his face. “If you move, you will be attacked, and I highly doubt you’d be much able to defend yourself in such a state. As an extra warning, the computer is programmed to attack anything Gir attacks. And it won’t stop if Gir does.” With that Zim whipped around and Dib was suddenly left alone.

He groaned and turned to look at Gir, who was staring intently at him. With a glare he turned over, facing the back of the couch, and was soon slipping to sleep. His last thought was wondering if sleep was such a good idea with a possible concussion, but he ignored the question in favor of rest.